As life slips away...
My ladyboss has told me I have a very cheery disposition. So have 2 other ladies from the group communications department that I've had the pleasure of working/liaising with lately. Despite my background and the looming shadow in my upbringing.
At that point of time... I sincerely forgot about God. I really, really did. I forgot that it was God who led me through my troubled times, it was God who saved me from narrowly being skewered on a fence... It was God who gave me a cheery disposition to deal with and counter the dreary and rather harsh days that I've had to go through.
But did I really use this... 'Gift' so to speak, the right way?
I may appear cheery and happy all the time, I may always try to smile at everything...
But it's been a lie. Well, maybe I was cheery for the moment. But it feels like I've only ever used it to hide the other feelings I've kept inside.
Few people have seen me really mad. Sad to say, some of my office staff have seen me RATHER mad. Only 5 months in, and it's already happened twice.
I guess it doesn't help when I'm badly dissatisfied with the person 'managing' me. Never helps to be at the receiving end of a tai-chi master superior. Everything she SAYS she'll do in front of everyone and in e-mails, MOST of the time will be sent to me, at a later date (giving me less time to work on stuff, shorter deadlines, etc); and it's not even started on.
I seriously, very badly hate it. It stressed me up a lot.
Yeah I get to learn faster, yadda yadda, but if it stresses me up and fills the jug so damned fast, what's the point? And even the other one that was hired to help HER out (shows how much she throws at people), well... She does help some. But really she adds more to the stress that I'm getting. She's not hands on, she's not too bright... Everything that's out of the ordinary, she starts calling my name like 3-6 times, even though I answer the first time... SERIOUSLY IT'S FRIGGIN ANNOYING!! And every question she asks, she asks like twice, 3 times, 4 times... I am not deaf. Seriously.
And my mom asks why I'm so tired when I come home. How can I not be tired when I'm doing more than half of the entire department's work myself, plus the stress I'm getting?
...Hurray. Rant.
At least I've got a few saving graces. I guess that helps to balance out some of that crap. My ladyboss is really fond of me in that she acknowledges the amount of work that I do and is rather pleased with it, my other colleagues know the predicament that I'm in and are sympathetic towards me, even people from other departments know of my situation and are sympathetic towards me... Well she's rather infamous around anyway.
And the only proper answer that I've got is "It was the Board of Trustee's decision".
Some board. Feel like smacking them with a wooden board for even THINKING of putting such incapabilities into such places.
Sorry... Rant done. I guess.
This was an older post that I never did... post. Guess I forgot about it. :/
At that point of time... I sincerely forgot about God. I really, really did. I forgot that it was God who led me through my troubled times, it was God who saved me from narrowly being skewered on a fence... It was God who gave me a cheery disposition to deal with and counter the dreary and rather harsh days that I've had to go through.
But did I really use this... 'Gift' so to speak, the right way?
I may appear cheery and happy all the time, I may always try to smile at everything...
But it's been a lie. Well, maybe I was cheery for the moment. But it feels like I've only ever used it to hide the other feelings I've kept inside.
Few people have seen me really mad. Sad to say, some of my office staff have seen me RATHER mad. Only 5 months in, and it's already happened twice.
I guess it doesn't help when I'm badly dissatisfied with the person 'managing' me. Never helps to be at the receiving end of a tai-chi master superior. Everything she SAYS she'll do in front of everyone and in e-mails, MOST of the time will be sent to me, at a later date (giving me less time to work on stuff, shorter deadlines, etc); and it's not even started on.
I seriously, very badly hate it. It stressed me up a lot.
Yeah I get to learn faster, yadda yadda, but if it stresses me up and fills the jug so damned fast, what's the point? And even the other one that was hired to help HER out (shows how much she throws at people), well... She does help some. But really she adds more to the stress that I'm getting. She's not hands on, she's not too bright... Everything that's out of the ordinary, she starts calling my name like 3-6 times, even though I answer the first time... SERIOUSLY IT'S FRIGGIN ANNOYING!! And every question she asks, she asks like twice, 3 times, 4 times... I am not deaf. Seriously.
And my mom asks why I'm so tired when I come home. How can I not be tired when I'm doing more than half of the entire department's work myself, plus the stress I'm getting?
...Hurray. Rant.
At least I've got a few saving graces. I guess that helps to balance out some of that crap. My ladyboss is really fond of me in that she acknowledges the amount of work that I do and is rather pleased with it, my other colleagues know the predicament that I'm in and are sympathetic towards me, even people from other departments know of my situation and are sympathetic towards me... Well she's rather infamous around anyway.
And the only proper answer that I've got is "It was the Board of Trustee's decision".
Some board. Feel like smacking them with a wooden board for even THINKING of putting such incapabilities into such places.
Sorry... Rant done. I guess.
This was an older post that I never did... post. Guess I forgot about it. :/
posted by Liil Masks at 10:54 AM
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