Inexistence

Heya guys! Guess what? It's another emo post again! Hurray! So kids, it's now time to close your eyes, muff your ears, scroll down as fast as you can, convince yourself that after reading this line and the last line you've got what I'm blogging about, and close the window! Hurray!


Sorry for the sarcasm. I'm just feeling a bit out of it atm.



Depressionistic wave hit again just a few moments ago. Wasn't that hard, but it did serve its purpose.

A survey said that I'm the kind of person that has to be in love. If I'm not in a relationship, I slowly start to go crazy and snap.

Well whether it's true or not, I'm already feeling the effects. It's been more than a year since my last relationship, and I'm feeling the brunt of singlehood. Really, I don't get what's so nice about being single. There's no one for me to just call up randomly and talk about random subjects and crap on the phone for an hour or two straight on random days. Yeah I could do that to quite a number of people I guess... Well actually only 1 person has offered that... And that's not counting the guys cuz well... I just don't feel natural when talking to guys. And besides, it's 2am. The guys I know who said sure are busy people now, and don't have that kind of luxury and time anymore. The girls... I shouldn't be bothering the girls at 2am in the morning.

So... It comes down to that special person.

Someone I don't have.



This is the kind of time where I wish I had a twin sister. She'd understand, and she'd be there for me. She'd love me for who I am and as a sibling, and she'd do her best to cheer me up just because I'm feeling down.


I just wish there were someone who'd do that.

Someone I can turn to whenever I want or need to.

Someone who'd drop whatever they were doing, and just listen to me. (IF it's that important of course, I'd understand if she were presenting to her boss or something like that)


I do that for people...

So why won't someone do that for me...



There's no one I can confide to in the dead of the night...

There's no one who'll put aside their judgement to allow me to speak freely to get things off my chest...

There's no one I can cry to...



Life is beautiful.

Too bad I don't feel like I'm alive.

I guess being this way is fine. As long as there's something I can do to make my friends happier, I guess it's endurable.

It's just me.





Yu

I guess I was just too headstrong.
Too much in a rush.
Too gungho.
Too...
Too much of a nervous idiot.

I guess I'm still not entirely over you.
Haha I don't know how long it'll take for me to do so.
I just hope it'll happen soon.
Because it hurts every time I see your picture.
Your smiling face.
Your sparkling eyes.
Your sweet demure lips.

I'll probably never know what it feels like to talk to you normally again.
Since it has never been normal from the start.
Thanks to me. Ahaha...

I know I'm a bother to you.
Since you've labeled me as one so I can never talk to you on the web again.
So... I'll do my best to keep my distance.
Perhaps it's for the best for you.
If that's what I'm fighting myself for...
I guess I can endure it.

It's never changed anyway.

Just adding one more won't kill me enough to stop me from standing up again.

I guess.



Nite God.

Nites guys.

God bless you.