When The Time Has Passed

2015 was a year filled with the best days of my life, and the worst.

I can only wish that time had stood still that night in the Hilton Hotel for the whole world but us.

Why am I afraid of moving forward? Because I'm afraid of making mistakes.

Why am I afraid of making mistakes? Because I don't want to feel the way I'm feeling now.

I've lost the only best friend I've ever had. The one person I could tell everything to and not be afraid of being judged, told off, or scolded, but instead to continue to be loved, accepted, and even prayed for.

Perhaps it was partially my fault too. If we had not done anything between us, perhaps God would have let us have our eternity together.

But it's not to be.

Well. The milk has been spilt. I will still cry over it, but I will do my best to move on. After all, my only wish in life is for my loved ones to be happy, and cared for. I would love to perform, but if I can't while securing a better life for my family and friends, then I guess I can't. It'll kill me, but better to be dead than to have your loved ones suffer.

I pray He'll be your eyes
And watch you, where you go
And help you to be wise
In times when you don't know.

This will be my prayer
When you lose your way
He'll lead you to a place
He'll guide you with His grace
He'll give you faith so you'll be saved.

Look after her, God.

Please.
Goodnight.