Freedom

The world's torn apart
by the things that I've done
I just can't imagine
To where I can run

To hide this face of sorrow
to keep this face of shame
to mask this face of darkness
to destroy this face of blame

where the fire burns
is where my heart lies
why can't it all end
why can't i break these ties

with the world all around me
that I choose to run away
from all that lives around me
from all that thrives today

And the world closes round me
but there is a light
that shines in this darkness
that showers me in might

with a roar of dismay
the world fades away
and I'm left in this whiteness
in purity I lay


Try writing all that in a timespan of 10 minutes or less... That's what I did ^_^ Heh yeah B is yelling at me for being able to write such stuff given such a short period of time... Was in the mood xp

It could be another free poem, it could be turned into lyrics of a song... I left it hanging though... Or rather I consider it hanging xp



I just wanna say... Thanks to those who have commented in my previous previous blog... I know I'm just another human being in this world and there are definitely other people who have gone through what I have... I'm just another cliche happening in the world... Still, I thank you... So much...


I've always been one to give advice to people and to make sure they do the right things... Maybe not so much as make sure but I really push them to do what is right... I've been identified as one who can really lift someone's spirits up when they're down; someone who can really edify (search www.dictionary.com) a person to the point of changing his/her views on things from negative to positive... An uplifter...


But I'm what people call a 'witch doctor' - a person who can cure others but can't cure themselves. I can help lift people's spirits and make them think positively, but I can't make myself do that... Though on an automatic basis I will find out the pros and cons of situations and actions, I always prepare myself for the worse... Which is looking at things very very negatively... I guess, as I always say, it has its good sides - I don't get too upset when things turn out bad. In fact I usually don't get upset at all because I've already prepared myself and braced for the worst to happen.


But then again, it places me in a negative and depressive situation...



And just today, I got a remark from SY... She said - "You only call me when you want something from me."

I called her because I needed directions around a place called Pudu and the first name that came to my mind was SY because her school is in the area...

Well, I managed to find my way there thanks to her help... But halfway through she suddenly got really mean and told me to not call her anymore if I get lost again... Why the sudden outburst? Because "you only call me when you want something from me"...

I... I don't know what to say... It's been a while since I've contacted her yes, but I DID recently call her to check up on her and say hie and chat a bit... And that's less than half a month ago...

*sigh* I don't know... Maybe I AM only calling people when I want something from them...

Am I...?


This blog entry's title is Freedom. It's the title I've given to my unfinished poem.

Hopefully, it'll be the title I can pronounce to myself one day...

Even though I'm supposed to be already free... Free from the bondages of sin...

I... I don't know... I'm too tired to think straight now... I'll blog more later...


I'm sorry...


And HM, I know you don't have this blogs's address. I'll give it to you soon. You may want it. Then again, you may not.

Either ways, I'll give it to you. What you do with it will be your decision to make...



And I'm not 100% positive

but I...

I've been thinking of HM a lot...

And I find that...

I really REALLY miss her a lot...

A lot a lot a lot a lot...

I might still be... Maybe I never could really let her go...

Maybe I just miss the time we spent together that I really cherish so much...

But I really miss her...

Really really...

Miss her...