Choking Breeze...

"Moments" - Ayumi Hamasaki

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Title: Moments

Lyricist/Artist: Ayumi Hamasaki

Original Language: Japanese

Translation: English [MPL]

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- Romaji -

kokoro ga kogatsuite
yakeru nioi ga shita
sore wa yume no owari
subete no hajimari datta

akogareteta mono wa
utsukushiku omoete
te ga todokanai kara
kagayaki o mashita no darou

kimi no kudake chitta yume no hahen ga
boku no mune o sashite
wasurete wa ikenai itami toshite kizamareteku

hana no you ni hakanai no nara
kimi no moto de sakihokoru deshou
soshite egao mitodoketa ato
sotto hitori chitteyuku deshou

kimi ga zetsubou to iu
nanofuchi ni tatasare
soko de mita keshiki wa
donna mono datta no darou

ikibasho o nakushite samayotteru
mukidashi no kokoro ga
fureru no o osorete
surudoi toge harimeguraseru

tori no you ni habatakeru nara
kimi no moto e tondeyuku deshou
soshite kizu o otta sono se ni
boku no hane o sashidasu deshou

hana no you ni hakanai no nara
kimi no moto de sakihokoru deshou
soshite egao mitodoketa ato
sotto hitori chitteyuku deshou

tori no you ni habatakeru nara
kimi no moto e tondeyuku deshou
soshite kizu o otta sono se ni
boku no hane o sashidasu deshou

kaze no you ni nagareru no nara
kimi no soba ni tadoritsuku deshou
tsuki no you ni kagayakeru nara
kimi o terashitsuzukeru deshou

kimi ga mou kore ijou
nido to kowai mono o
minakute sumu no nara
boku wa nan ni demo narou

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- English -

Your heart began to be scorched,
and there was a smell of it.
It was the end of your dream,
and the start of everything...

What you adored looked beautiful to you...
It became even brighter,
because you couldn't reach it.

The broken pieces of your dream,
Pierce my heart.
Leaving the pain,
That I should never forget...

If my life is transient like a flower,
I'll be in full bloom by your side...
And after watching your smile,
I'll fall alone, quietly.

How was the scenery you saw,
When you were pushed into an abyss of despair?

Your naked heart is wandering...
Having nowhere to go.
And is setting sharp thorns around,
For fear of being touched.

If I could flutter like a bird,
I would fly to you...
And offer my wing,
To your wounded back.

If my life is transient like a flower,
I'll be in full bloom by your side...
And after watching your smile,
I'll fall alone, quietly.

If I could flutter like a bird,
I would fly to you...
And offer my wing,
To your wounded back.

If I could flow like the wind,
I would reach you...
If I could shine like a moon,
I would keep shining on you...

I'll be anything,
If it can stop you from being seized with fear.

~~~~

Lyrics above are courtesy of MPL.




Had a Valentine's outing today with some church performing arts friends. At a Roti Romalee at a place called B Sentral (or Central, can't remember) near the YMCA building. Apparently it's cooked over an inverted wok (I was told they have a special wok for it. Hope so, or I'll be getting cancer soon) without any oil. No oil at all, kewl eh? Kinda ok, but I don't see what's so nice about it. Gimme roti canai / roti telur any day (apparently Roti Romalee is hard to find cuz it's a North India dish that isn't very famous. Don't know, a friend said so).


After that, went with 3 other friends (also from church performing arts) to wathch Fearless. The movie was good. I applaud Jet Li for doing making his last movie a very memorable one. Indeed, the storyline and acting was superb (of course the fighting was really cool too. That's what Jet Li's movies are about, aren't they?). What I respect most was the 2 champion fighter's morale. A fighter will acknowledge defeat when they know they have lost. (Spoiler) The Japanese champion fighter gave up when Jet Li made a fak punch towards his chest. In the movie, Jet Li performed a punch so powerful that it severed a really tough fighter's heart, who later died in a few hours. He was about to land it on the Japanese fighter (Tanaka) when he realised that he musn't kill, and turned it into a fake. The impact or Qi-Gong (which I'm sure it was what it meant in the movie) that rushed into Tanaka's body immediately told Tanaka of the deathblow that could have ended his life if Jet Li had not held back. In that, he admitted defeat and held Jet Li victorious. Such is a fighter's morale, and is to be respected. It takes a lot out of a champion to admit defeat in such a modest way.



Which is what brings me to today's blog. Just moments ago, I got into a so-called typographical argument with a person from CF. I'll call him D (only BNYL knows who this is, so there).

It started when I claimed I had something and did not wish to show it. For one, that's where my problems started.

I lied.

True, I can easilly obtain what I claimed I had, but I did not have it. So I lied.

Then I got into an argument, which resulted in me throwing back his words at himself. Though I consider this a tactful strategy since most people throw words and dares at others and yet are not able to perform it themselves, it isn't right. It not only gets a person deeper into the argument (though at most times leaves the other person angrier and speechless at first, then going into some other topics to back themselves up knowing they've lost the battle), it also is an ego and pride boost.

Which breaks the 'law' of humility.

I'm supposed to be humble.

Yet I exert my skills in places and in ways I should not.

Some Christian I am.

And later, I'm claimed to be 'preachy' by someone else (who in turn got hated by BNYL, and I can perfectly understand why since I know BNYL well enough to know that she despises the topic). Again, my ego and pride rose to protect itself, which resulted in me almost using His name in vain. I was already using my position as a Christian to fight back, which is already bad.

Some Christian I am.





Anyway, Valentine's is over. This is the 3rd year in a row I'm celebrating (if you call it celebrating) Valentines without a girlfriend. Not that I don't mind the missing outflow of cash. Just that... Well... I'm starting to miss having a girlfriend. Which is bad. Why? Because it leads me into getting into another relationship for the sake of having a girlfriend and relinquishing my desires to love and be loved. Not that the loving part is bad, but the intentions are. Well, maybe not bad, but just wrong.


MPL, BLSL, if I ever do that, whack me up, will ya?

I don't dare ask BNYL to do that (doubt she would anyway). She might just claw me to death, which would be a bit more than I asked for. *flees*

Jokes aside... Hey, it's not easy for an attention seeker to stop himself from getting into a relationship, ok? And it's not fun stopping myself either. I'm literally choking myself here to prevent any more 'accidents' which I call relationships.

Accidents? Well maybe not accidents, it's too strong a word. But you get the idea.



And MPL,

I can't say everything I want to say.

I wish I could.

But I can't.

Some words should best be left unsaid. In this case, most of my words.

Because a lot of these words can create events that would be selfish to myself. A lot of these words only benefit me, and make things worse for others. These are words not meant to be said by me, for I should not break what is not mine.

Besides, I wish to be an uplifter of Justice and Righteousness. What kind of Paladin would I be if I myself disobeyed Justice and Righteousness?

And Love too.

I cannot spoil what is not mine.

I will not allow it, if I can help it.




God?

Happy Valentine's day. I don't have a Valentine. So I'll offer my Valentine's wish to you.

Q: God, why did Valentine get a day named after himself anyway? I remember reading it somewhere, but I forgot. Some playboy...? :P


Good Night.