Of Two Worlds Mould Into One

I've been feeling so lonely this 1/2 year... I've felt so cold and all alone... Without anyone to hold close... Without people to share my problems with... When people blog about their problems, I ask them how they are... Ask them if I can help... Give them words of encouragement that really cheers and brings them back up... I feel so thankful for this gift, that I am able to help my friends... Yet... Why is it that no one is around when I need someone to just give ME the words of encouragement I give others...?

I'm thankful for that gift too. It's unlike many people's. The gift of being an encouragement and lifting people's spirits is indeed very special. However, you do know that having such an important gift means more trouble, don't you? And since the gift is practiced so much, more trouble will definitely arise... I give you encouraging words too, don't I?

I know... But it's not the same, coming from you... From you, I have your full attention all the time... I love you for that... But being an attention seeker, you know full very well that even though it should, having someone this close's full attention just isn't the same...

Yes I know... All too well too...

Which is why I'm sure you understand what I'm saying... Why doesn't anyone give attention...? Am I... That horrible a person...? Am I that worthles that no one will even see...? Am I...

A Nobody...?

Well in some ways... We are nobodies... We're the ones who care for others when they say nobody will... We're the ones who encourage them when they say "Nobody will"...

You know what I mean...

Ok, jokes aside... No you're not horrible at all. In fact, you're wonderful. Such a wonderful person that sometimes people get scared being around you. It's because... In so many ways, you seem too perfect in their eyes that they get frightened being around you. You can excel in so many different areas if you put your heart to it. People are frightened of things way beyond their understanding and things that are far beyond their limits. Sometimes you just have to accept that. You can't change who you are. You have your flaws too, but when you cover them so well, it's difficult for people to see through you. And don't say you're worthless. If you're worthless, problems won't even exist in your life. Lucifer wouldn't bother messing with you.

I guess you're right... You ARE right most of the time anyway... But still... How can I be that good a person...? Most people don't pay much attention to me at all... Unless we're talking face to face with no one else around...

Don't you want that...? You love personal attention...

Yes I want that too, and I appreciate anyone who gives me such personal attention... But... A crowd's attention is different... I don't want everyone to be focused on me you know... I just want... People to notice me... As... As SOMEONE they know, like and love...

That's wanting everyone to be your friend... You know what we talked about having everyone as friends right?

Yes I know... But... Isn't the attention... Really... Something you want too...?

I admit, I want it too. But we can't have everything. If we have to live without the attention that we crave so much, then we'll just have to.

I know... But it's just so... So empty... So... Bare... So... So...

Lonesome...?

Yes...

*sigh*

You feel it too... Don't you...?

Of course I do... I know it just as well as you do... But... We have to press on... We can't be stagnant in life, hoping that things will not change... One day, people will go, and if we stay behind hoping that things won't change, we'll get lost...

*sigh* I know you're right... I don't like to admit that what you said is right, but it is... And I can't deny that...

We'll just have to move on. We'll always be together, and we can make it. Especially with divine help.

I guess we will... I've still got lots of doubts though...

Doubts are fine. Doubts are normal. We're humans, we're bound to have doubts. Just don't let it cloud your judgement.

Don't worry... I won't... You know I never did...

Yes I know. Just a reminder.




Our Heavenly Father, I pray that one day, You will give all the attention that the heart can ever crave for. Thank you for giving the gift of encouragement. Thank you that it is used well and for Your glory as well. I hope that You will make a way so that that same gift can be enjoyed by your servant.

In Jesus's most precious name, Amen.