The Impromptu
I've been having a lot of dreams lately. Weird ones at that too. Well... Maybe not so weird knowing myself... But I'm not used to having dreams. Dreams usually come once in a months maybe if I'm lucky, and most of the time I hardly remember any of them. But this time I had two in the span of two days.
Maybe I'm just emotionally over-stressed. I don't know. A lot of stuff has been happening this month and I'm just emotionally tired. Sadly I don't have someone I can just fling my arms around and cry and cry. Then again if I did that they'd think I'm a weak and insecure guy and would probably dump me or leave me.
And yeah I'll only like do that to a girl. Guys won't ever see me during my emotional breakdowns. Not much of a point breaking down in front of guys anyway, they're mostly insensitive dolts.
Heheh. Dolts.
And yeah I had an emotional breakdown recently. Only two people know (well technically 3 people since her husband was waiting for her), and I think I'd like to keep the amount who knows my reasons that way. After all, this blog IS public, and I still want to maintain my public composure. I mean how can I be strong for people if I show them weaknesses?
I woke up today feeling totally exhausted. I slept a whole bunch on sunday evening till night till monday morning, and i slept 7 hours from monday till tuesday morning. I'm still feeling tired. Productions don't usually take this much of a toll on me during post-time so I'm thinking it's something else. Not hard for me to point fingers at a certain direction without much thought.
And I like this girl in my church. Well she's in the performing arts as well. I won't give many hints cuz they're all just too plain obvious. However I will say that she's really sweet and really really really polite. Those who were in the performing arts for this performance should easily tell who it is without me giving any hints anyway. I've been making some obvious moves towards her...
But she seems to like older men. I can understand the sense of responsibility and maturity she's looking for... Maybe I'm just not her type. Or maybe I just need to grow up? My childish nature is what makes me who I am. It's not like I can't be mature when I need to, I just reserve it to when the situation absolutely demands it that's all. For those who've worked with me, they know that I can take control and command the situation when it's necessary.
But I guess that only shows for people who've been with me for a long time, or have had to work with me. For those who only see me on the outside... See me as I want them to...
But I want them to see me as a childish figure who can call upon maturity and adulthood when needed. That way I can have the best of both worlds (damn you Hannah Montanna). I remain fun and hyperific to be with, and at the same time absolutely reliable for almost anything at all.
Just took a short trip down memory lane. Got reminded I was a horrible jerk. Ending post here.
God...
I'm a jerk.
Bless my blogreaders. Ben, Ivan, Jun, M.
Maybe I'm just emotionally over-stressed. I don't know. A lot of stuff has been happening this month and I'm just emotionally tired. Sadly I don't have someone I can just fling my arms around and cry and cry. Then again if I did that they'd think I'm a weak and insecure guy and would probably dump me or leave me.
And yeah I'll only like do that to a girl. Guys won't ever see me during my emotional breakdowns. Not much of a point breaking down in front of guys anyway, they're mostly insensitive dolts.
Heheh. Dolts.
And yeah I had an emotional breakdown recently. Only two people know (well technically 3 people since her husband was waiting for her), and I think I'd like to keep the amount who knows my reasons that way. After all, this blog IS public, and I still want to maintain my public composure. I mean how can I be strong for people if I show them weaknesses?
I woke up today feeling totally exhausted. I slept a whole bunch on sunday evening till night till monday morning, and i slept 7 hours from monday till tuesday morning. I'm still feeling tired. Productions don't usually take this much of a toll on me during post-time so I'm thinking it's something else. Not hard for me to point fingers at a certain direction without much thought.
And I like this girl in my church. Well she's in the performing arts as well. I won't give many hints cuz they're all just too plain obvious. However I will say that she's really sweet and really really really polite. Those who were in the performing arts for this performance should easily tell who it is without me giving any hints anyway. I've been making some obvious moves towards her...
But she seems to like older men. I can understand the sense of responsibility and maturity she's looking for... Maybe I'm just not her type. Or maybe I just need to grow up? My childish nature is what makes me who I am. It's not like I can't be mature when I need to, I just reserve it to when the situation absolutely demands it that's all. For those who've worked with me, they know that I can take control and command the situation when it's necessary.
But I guess that only shows for people who've been with me for a long time, or have had to work with me. For those who only see me on the outside... See me as I want them to...
But I want them to see me as a childish figure who can call upon maturity and adulthood when needed. That way I can have the best of both worlds (damn you Hannah Montanna). I remain fun and hyperific to be with, and at the same time absolutely reliable for almost anything at all.
Just took a short trip down memory lane. Got reminded I was a horrible jerk. Ending post here.
God...
I'm a jerk.
Bless my blogreaders. Ben, Ivan, Jun, M.
posted by Liil Masks at 6:37 pm
1 Comments:
dude.. you really shouldn't put yourself down too much man.. it's starting to take a toll on you.. look back to your performance for easter night.. what was your performance about? what did it signify?
you've got a lot to offer man.. sometimes you just don't see it too well and you put yourself down.. don't put yourself down because of what ppl say or do or think about you.. like i said again, look back to your performance, think deep about it in prayers and i'm certain, you'll find the meaning that i'm trying to tell you here..
i don't know why but i just can't seem to tell it out to you.. maybe He wants me to just make you remember something and let you realise and figure it out on your own.. i dunno man.. but if there's anything, you know where to find me.. =)
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