The Plot Thickens

As my life worsens.

hurray.

Sorry but I've run out of energy to hypertype or typehyper like the last post.


Wave hit again. Just after a good session of DotA too.

Need to talk to someone so bad.

Wish I could fall asleep next to someone so bad too.

So many things running through my mind right now, I don't even know where to start. Or if I should start at all, and instead just go to bed like I should.

I don't wanna wake up tomorrow.


I had a dream recently. I rarely get dreams, but this one was so vivid I remember it so clearly.


I was hunting a dragon (thanks to too much monster hunter gaming lately...). Jumped in, slashed at it, blablabla... Then it got away.

So I sat down outside this house where my office colleagues had gathered. Presumably for a meeting.

Things are blur after that, but it becomes clear when 'that person' starts mocking me, by saying "I'm NEEEVER wrong."

Then I grab her amidst my colleagues trying to hold me back. I felt such a strong sense of anger bursting out from within me as I looked straight at her and said, "Don't you FUCKING DARE twist my words. I said I DON'T LIE, not that I am never wrong."

I woke up half saying out those words.

I felt that anger and that resentment in me. It was so strong that I wanted to punch her guts out.

That's when I understood. It's time for me to move on.


I've only hated 1 person in my life. And that was that person in this house.

Now I've come to hate yet another person. And within a short period of less than a year too.

I can't seem to forgive her. I hate her. So bad that I really want to somehow expose all her misdoings and somehow make her life really miserable.

But I can't. I guess it's good that I can't too.

Cuz at home, there's that plan that's already being executed, through not much action on my own part, and it's working itself out because he set the time bomb himself. It's his own fault, and I'm just... Smirking while watching the story unfold.

This one? I'm afraid I can't. While I sincerely hope it will someday come back and bite her in the arse so bad that it bleeds her heat out, it'll be long before it MAY ever happen. And that's a MAY.



I'm feeling so evil right now. I'm sincerely hoping for something bad to happen to someone.

...

I don't wanna wake up tomorrow...

There's a chance she may get me a confirmation. Then it'll take a long time before I can get myself out of this place.

I need to get out NOW. But I need to first secure a job somewhere else.

ugh.

Every 'subordinate' in the place hates her. She can freely push all her work to someone else and not bat an eyelid (which she probably does loads when going out for her 'meetings' with goodness knows who). She can swindle the foundation's expenses by eating expensively, go out on dates and claiming the bills as entertainment fees, and a lot more without even unconsciously WONDER if it's wrong to do so.

I'm telling you, if she stays, the foundation WILL crumble. Exec Dir has already retired not being able to resolve the situation. What can one do when the boss above says no?

*sigh*

Gnite blog.

Gnite God.

I'm backsliding again.

I'm horribly sorry. But I'm unmotivated to get past this and move forward.

The looming feeling of "it's pointless" keeps hanging around, draining all my energy.

And getting kicked for it isn't changing anything, it just gets me more annoyed.

God...

Please help....