Never To Be Served
As a Christian, we are to serve others above ourselves (or was the the Interact/Leo Club's motto? Whatever...).
I've been doing that for a long long time... Helping other people when I am busy or do not have any reason whatsoever to help them... Going to the extenct of helping them redo assignments, sending them back home... Listening to their problems... Giving advice and solutions when they ask... Taking interest into people's problems, showing that I care for them... What a Christian should be doing... - Quote "Love your neighbours as you love yourself".
That was the second greatest commandment that Jesus Christ summarised from the Bible. The first was of course, to "Love the Lord your God with all your Heart, with all your Soul, with all your Mind and with all your Strength".
I guess I could say that many times I love my neighbours more than I love myself... More times, much less... I guess I can't be that good Christian after all... I'm just... Another normal human...
I've given my dedication to many friends, some whom I've hardly knew for long, mostly all I do not know very closely. I've felt that it was my duty and I felt at ease with myself when I help them out, even when it tires me and takes a heavy toll on my physical and/or emotional self.
I've given so much... Much more than any normal person would do, I think... At least that's what some of my friends have said... Some really appreciate what I've done for them...
And all I ask in return... Is for someone to talk with... To share my problems with... To be there especially when I need them, to help me when I'm down... To pick me when I fall...
I would definitely devote myself to do the same to that person as well (which looking at me, would most probably be a girl)... Basically, I'm looking for a girl who would love me for who I am, would understand me almost fully and yet still love me... Love me for my strengths AND faults... A girl who will... Make the effort to find out what's wrong with me...
And that's not all... In return, she must tell me her problems too... Share her joys and burdens with me... Many a girl I have met don't want to give me their problems... They find that the reason they don't want me to help them carry the burden is because they care for me... I admit, that can be done among friends... But when it comes to a relationship, we are supposed to SHARE every single darn thing with each other, be it god or bad... That's what a relationship is all about... To go through rich and poor, in sickness and in health... I guess that's what I've been doing, carrying all my burdens myself... But that's because I haven't found a girl who would share her problems with me... I want to so much... Yet, I find that they still carry their own burdens themselves... Even when I insist that I want to, they don't allow...
Well... That's what's happening between me and SY anyway... Today... She didn't want to share with me her problems... *sigh* I understand that it's close to being her first relationship and she's not used to many things, having lived her life carrying all her troubles herself for so long...
But that's exactly what I have been doing... And it's come to a point where I'm starting to feel the effects of soloing my harsh life through... I don't want her to feel that...
But as I told her, "Some things have to be felt and experienced before one can truly understand what it means"...
I don't know... I want to know, I try hard to know, I squeeze my brains dry to find out... But I just don't know... I'm so lost...
God... I know that you want me to share my life with You first and foremost... But I still can't get it out of my head that You are God and I am your servant... That you are pure and holy, while I am dirty, sinfull and unworthy of your grace... If it is your will, please help me to let go of that feeling of inferiority within myself to everyone else and everything in this world... Help me to really understand that to love You is to know You and to have You as a friend...
And God... I really worry for SY... Though I know that it is written, 'worrying is a sin', I still do for her... I worry about her carrying all her troubles on her own... I worry about the stress she receives from school, extra classes, tuition and in her home... I fear that she may do something rash... God, I pray that You will guard her and guide her... Watch over her and... Let Your will be done upon her... If I can be of any service to help in any way, command and I shall follow...
Goodnight... Bless You God, for everything that You have created and given to me... Thank You also, for... SY...
I've been doing that for a long long time... Helping other people when I am busy or do not have any reason whatsoever to help them... Going to the extenct of helping them redo assignments, sending them back home... Listening to their problems... Giving advice and solutions when they ask... Taking interest into people's problems, showing that I care for them... What a Christian should be doing... - Quote "Love your neighbours as you love yourself".
That was the second greatest commandment that Jesus Christ summarised from the Bible. The first was of course, to "Love the Lord your God with all your Heart, with all your Soul, with all your Mind and with all your Strength".
I guess I could say that many times I love my neighbours more than I love myself... More times, much less... I guess I can't be that good Christian after all... I'm just... Another normal human...
I've given my dedication to many friends, some whom I've hardly knew for long, mostly all I do not know very closely. I've felt that it was my duty and I felt at ease with myself when I help them out, even when it tires me and takes a heavy toll on my physical and/or emotional self.
I've given so much... Much more than any normal person would do, I think... At least that's what some of my friends have said... Some really appreciate what I've done for them...
And all I ask in return... Is for someone to talk with... To share my problems with... To be there especially when I need them, to help me when I'm down... To pick me when I fall...
I would definitely devote myself to do the same to that person as well (which looking at me, would most probably be a girl)... Basically, I'm looking for a girl who would love me for who I am, would understand me almost fully and yet still love me... Love me for my strengths AND faults... A girl who will... Make the effort to find out what's wrong with me...
And that's not all... In return, she must tell me her problems too... Share her joys and burdens with me... Many a girl I have met don't want to give me their problems... They find that the reason they don't want me to help them carry the burden is because they care for me... I admit, that can be done among friends... But when it comes to a relationship, we are supposed to SHARE every single darn thing with each other, be it god or bad... That's what a relationship is all about... To go through rich and poor, in sickness and in health... I guess that's what I've been doing, carrying all my burdens myself... But that's because I haven't found a girl who would share her problems with me... I want to so much... Yet, I find that they still carry their own burdens themselves... Even when I insist that I want to, they don't allow...
Well... That's what's happening between me and SY anyway... Today... She didn't want to share with me her problems... *sigh* I understand that it's close to being her first relationship and she's not used to many things, having lived her life carrying all her troubles herself for so long...
But that's exactly what I have been doing... And it's come to a point where I'm starting to feel the effects of soloing my harsh life through... I don't want her to feel that...
But as I told her, "Some things have to be felt and experienced before one can truly understand what it means"...
I don't know... I want to know, I try hard to know, I squeeze my brains dry to find out... But I just don't know... I'm so lost...
God... I know that you want me to share my life with You first and foremost... But I still can't get it out of my head that You are God and I am your servant... That you are pure and holy, while I am dirty, sinfull and unworthy of your grace... If it is your will, please help me to let go of that feeling of inferiority within myself to everyone else and everything in this world... Help me to really understand that to love You is to know You and to have You as a friend...
And God... I really worry for SY... Though I know that it is written, 'worrying is a sin', I still do for her... I worry about her carrying all her troubles on her own... I worry about the stress she receives from school, extra classes, tuition and in her home... I fear that she may do something rash... God, I pray that You will guard her and guide her... Watch over her and... Let Your will be done upon her... If I can be of any service to help in any way, command and I shall follow...
Goodnight... Bless You God, for everything that You have created and given to me... Thank You also, for... SY...
posted by Liil Masks at 11:18 am
2 Comments:
yo man, it's been awhile since i last came here.. i have to admit that reading your entries are really interesting with the way things are really in your life and the way you potray them to your friends.. well dude, after reading this one, reassured that you are a good friend, a great friend indeed and that you tend to worry too much about other people's problems.. but dude, worry about your own 1st as you should really solve all your problems before helping others solve theirs.. it's no use to make another person's life trouble free but yours a world full of troubles.. didn't God insist that we love ourselves 1st in order to love another? help yourself 1st before helping others so that when you do help others, a bigger sense or relief will be felt..
dude, about your girl (or soon to be girl) chill aight... being in a relationship does mean sharing most things but that doesn't mean that the person must share straight away.. like you said, this is her 1st so help her get used to the situation where feelings and emotions are shared between each other.. don't tell her that she should share but show her why she should share things with you, her problems, worries and troubles.. she's been carrying her burden her entire life and so have you.. used the similarity between the both of you to make that already strong bond between you even stronger! be there for her all the time and eventually she'll open up to you.. feelings are fragile.. it takes time for a person to actually let out their feelings to another, even to their 'special one'... so chill man, you've been through a lot in life as well so why worry so much and make it worse? God has plans for all of His servants.. speaking as one of His servants, i've been through a lot as well but i came to learn that only a prayer can really help you throughout your darkest hour.. be one with The Almighty and everything will be fine.. =) dude, you've helped out more people than you know and God is very proud of you.. God is also fair so what you do will not go unrewarded eventhough you do all things without expecting anything in return, but God is gracious and He will bless you in ways you can never imagine happening to you.. =) so worry less (seeing that worrying is a sin) and take things as it comes by the day.. the more you worry, the more you miss out on the beautiful things in your daily life.. as for SY, spend as much time as you can with her and don't worry soo much about her level of sharing thing with you.. it takes time and only time will tell... if it is The Almighty's will, anything can happen and when it does happen, it happens in the most magical way possible.. =) so chill aight man.. hahhaa.. enjoy your hols while you still have it cuz after this, there will loads and loads of assignments again.. =P hahaha.. aight man, see you around.. take care dude! God bless =)
somethings are just meant to be mysterious. they care about u, thats why they dont share ALL the problems (as a girl).so, chill.
SY is a nice girl. if she doesn't want to talk about things, dont insist. dont pry. you will make things difficult for both u and her. both of u.
if its about love, she'll soon open her heart to you, dear. be patient, and accept things for now.
i dont meant that u should lay back and do nothing. be there for her when she needs u. but also let her have some space. girls dont like to be confined in cages like birds, though it keeps the birds from running elsewhere and die.
girls wants some freedom.^^
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