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Your result for The Color Code Test...

Color Code: BLUE: The Social Butterfly

Here is the basics: For a more in depth analysis, I suggest you look up the Color Code, and take a more intensive test.

BLUE MOTIVE: Intimacy

BLUE NEEDS: To be good (morally), To be understood, To be appreciated, Acceptance.

BLUE WANTS: To reveal insecurities, Quality, Autonomy, Secuirity.

SUMMARY: Blues are motivated by altruism. They love to do nice things for others. they look for opportunites to give up something in order to bring another person happiness. selflessness rather than selfishness is their guiding philosophy. Blues seek intimacy. They want to be loved and to love. A true blue will sacrifice a successful career to improve an important relationship. Blues crave being understood. They are gratified when they are listened to, when they feel understood and appreciated. Blues may have thier hearts broken more than most people, but they also spend much more time in love. Blues are directed by a strong moral conscience. They have a moral code that guides them in their decision making, their value judgements, and their leisure time. A blue would rather lose than cheat. Ethically, blues are people who should be in positions of power, but seldom are.

Take The Color Code Test at HelloQuizzy

Rather accurate. Save for the 'Social Butterfly' thing. Doubt I'm either sociable or a butterfly... Pig maybe...


I do have a need to love and to be loved... I wanna give so much (and sacrifice to give so much)... Yet when I want to focus on giving to a particular someone, I'm met with winterness...



I seriously need someone to talk to. Personally. Like a personal counsellor or something.

I've given up hope on my church and its pastors for that. The church is simply much too big, and the pastors are much too busy. I'll bet you everything I have in my bank account that the two pastors I've spoken to about my problems have TOTALLY forgotten that they were supposed to make an appointment with me to see me.

TWO pastors.

I know that they have their own lives, and they probably have dozens of other needs to take care of, and other people they'd rather counsel than me.

I just feel... Ignored. Rejected.

Youth Church was one of the very few places I'd agree to willingly go to. Simply because I liked the environment.

Now... All us 'older kids' have been kicked out, and I don't like the main service. The Saturday service is even MORE boring, surprisingly.

So... Where do I belong...?

I felt I belonged to TCS. To everyone there, as we were a small group and every single voice is important.

Now that TCS has been temporarily disbanded (since they disband every year and re-band for the next production; they don't have a permanent membership kinda thing), I've... I've got nowhere to belong to anymore.

Again.

I'm already almost totally ignored by my department people in my workplace. Only me dept head, the person next to me and the guy who does the polyphonic ringtones acknowledge my presence and return my greetings. Otherwise... My department ignores my existance.

I hate it.

I'm sorry that I slack a lot. I'm sorry I frequently doze off while sitting on that chair. I'm sorry I usually have little work to do.

I'm sorry I'm not important to the department or the company.

I just need to hold on for another half year, and I'll quit. I can't stand it much longer. The people of other departments all accept me happily. I'm a part of their working family and they like me. Only those who are SUPPOSED to be closest to me are NOWHERE NEAR at all.

I don't get it.

Blah.




Well... Today was probably the last day I'll be seeing her. At least unless we go out for the same karaoke nights again.

I think it's a good thing. Sooner or later, I'll be able to stop thinking about her so frequently. This is turning into a bondage of my mind and I don't want it to continue (I'd rather have her coming to me, but that's not gonna happen DUH so no, I don't want it to continue).

But a friend told me that it may take a turn for the worse instead.

*sigh* Who knows. If it does... I really MIGHT have to go for therapy. I'm already getting rather unstable emotionally. If I didn't have this much willpower to hide my depression, I don't think I'd be able to survive properly.

Oh well. Let's just hope all's well that ends well. Hmm? :)


Anyway, it's really really late.

Goodnight guys...


God...

I'm sorry... For everything I've done.

I've only brought grief to You and Your people.

I want... To be good. To do good.

Please help me to do good.




God, bless my blogreaders.

Esepcially Jun, Jas, Ivan, Ben, CSY, and Sylkis.

God bless you.