The Little Masks.

I'm tired out by... hardly doing anything today. Woke up late, skipped church (3rd time in a row, gawd I'm really getting lost in it), played DS. Went online, played DS, lied down for a bit, played more DS, then headed for choir.

Guess all the long minutes (minutes yeah rofl, I doubt putting it all together even makes an hour) spent looping Sweeney Todd Medley paid off. I memorised my awesomely clashing part of the song with full confidence. And this without my score! haha!

I may be getting to sing "Something's Coming" from West Side Story if Terry proves to be unteachable in diction in time. Now I'm not trying to curse the poor fellow or anything (new guy in the TCS choir btw), but I've REALLY haunted that song for a long time now. Operafest was supposed to do West Side during the last year I joined, but that didn't work out. So I had already learned all the songs and was halfway through the acting and dancing when it was canceled. And that song is really one fine piece to sing for singing exams. And I want to do it, really I do. But I don't wanna condemn Terry to not do it as well, kind of a bad 'perfectionist' vibe I give. I already scared off my church choir's twins from singing (and I really REALLY feel horribly guilty for that...), I really don't want to discourage more people.

Blah.



"Because you didn't see the one standing at your doorway, constantly waiting to give.

All you did was push him away, refuse him with all your being, disliking his presence, wanting him gone.

He stood there waiting nonetheless, waiting, just waiting to give you everything. All you had to do... Was ask.

Yet you pushed him back. Kicked him off your porch.

Even when he gave to you so willingly without any other thought in mind, only out of the pureness of heart, to give as a gesture of goodwill;

You only told him, "You didn't have to."

Of course he didn't have to. He owed you nothing. Yet he did so all the same.

And what did you do?

Send the blizzard after him, that's what you did.

You could've had the world of him.

You could've had someone who cared so deeply, someone who loved so passionately. Someone who would give their all to make you happy.

All you had to do... Was accept.

That was the first. And the last.

If he appears on your doorway again, count your lucky stars he's held no grudge on you.

For if I were him, I certainly would have.

Wasting months and months of heartache and worry, wondering if you were alright.

Only to be met by a cold stare and "You didn't have to."

He didn't have to. But did anyway.

You don't meet people like that every day.

Beneath the happy exterior, a dark shadow haunts him. Yet he suppresses the shadow just to hopefully make people smile.

To make you smile.

Appreciation.

Happiness.

Sorrow.

Guilt.

Perhaps you go through it now.

If it is true, then by hopes you will understand how he felt when you sought to fight a cold war with him.

Breaking his heart so badly.

Never before had he felt that way towards someone.

And never again will he let his heart be open to such MINDLESS stupidity.

You've won your battle with him.

Now you'll fight your war alone.

By hopes, you'll be satisfied with what you've wrought against yourself.

By hopes...

His memories will fade, and begin anew with you.

It was

your fault to begin with.


God

I've been a horrible Christian.

My only redeeming factor is my head knowledge, in which I openly share. Hopefully none of it is blasphemy to Your truth.

Please bless my blogreaders. May they find that happiness in You which I haven't.