Forgiving and Forgetting
Obviously you've heard the term "forgive and forget". Well... Have you ever tried that? Not easy I suppose. I guess it's not easy for everyone, to just forgive something and forget it the next minute. There's just something about that person that you'll probably be aware of and be extra cautious just in case the person does the same thing again... Doesn't it feel that way? I bet 90% of the world population does. It's just human. When we get cheated once, we expect the same person to cheat again even after forgiving, that's why we're just extra cautious JUST IN CASE they do. That's why people who have been to jail aren't so succesfull at finding jobs. It's called a "black mark".
Either ways... M is still defending herself. To me, she still does not want to grasp the fact that despite 101 people telling her so, she is VERY irresponsible and inconsiderate. And the fact that lying to her means caring to some point, when it helps her boyfriend save money, does NOT help one bit.
Maybe it's just me. I live on absolutes - Lying is wrong, and there is no coming around that, stealing is wrong and there is no coming around that either. Just today I finished my 3 day work at an exhibition and was helping to clean up when I noticed a really cute webcam left unguarded in the boxes. I had this sudden urge to just grab it, put it in my bag which I was carrying and pretend nothing happened. No one would ever know anyway, not untill the next day when they do a stock count and find it missing.
But I couldn't. I rejected the offer, blockaded the urge and instead of making it disappear into my bag, I asked for it. Obviously I wasn't allowed to, considering the webcam is expensive and my boss's explanation was cuz the company would double check on expensive items being given away. If I wanted the fan or one or some of the plush dolls or photoframes which were in an abudance, I could have them. But the webcam was off limits.
Many times I found myself in a situation where stealing it would go unnoticed. But still I persevered and denied the feeling. In the end, I didn't get it. I grabbed what rubbish I could salvage (they were throwing lots of spoilt and unwanted photo frames and posters, I salvaged the 'spoilt ones' and repaired them and was allowed to keep them), my stuff and headed off.
All in all, I hate people who lie. As in lying to protect something they've done wrong. If a person lied to give a birthday surprise or just for fun which you obviously know they're lying and they know it too, that'd be understood, especially among the more modern aged teenagers/college students. But lying to protect something done wrong and going on and on to protect that without even wanting to say "I'm sorry about what I did but I want to make my point clear", that I can't take. If someone said that to me, yes I would still be angry, but definitely much less than a person trying to hold on to lies and protect that till the never end.
Recently I realised being someone special in a friend's life isn't easy. At least it isn't easy to get there. I've tried. I'm only there with my best friend, and even then, I sometimes have certain doubts.
It's hard for a friend to love friends I guess. I'm the few who wants them to not feel alone and hurt so much that I start to feel the hurt myself. It takes a toll on me - I get really tired. I lose patience at times, and it's been getting faster and faster. But still, I strive to give my best to them. Why? I don't know either.
Maybe it's because I've been through many hardships alone, and I know what it feels like, and I don't want those whom I care for to ever go through things the way I did. Maybe it's because I care for my friends to a certain extenct that I could possibly and probably care for them more than I care for myself.
Maybe it's just both.
Oh, and the feeling of guilt if I took the webcam, that's a good sign. At least I know that I'll still feel guilty if I do something wrong.
God, I pray for my friends today. I pray that You will always be with them to show them the Way, the Truth and the Light. And I pray that they will follow Your Way, Your Truth and Your Life. For you know what's best for them, and I want what's best for them too. Even if it kills me.
Either ways... M is still defending herself. To me, she still does not want to grasp the fact that despite 101 people telling her so, she is VERY irresponsible and inconsiderate. And the fact that lying to her means caring to some point, when it helps her boyfriend save money, does NOT help one bit.
Maybe it's just me. I live on absolutes - Lying is wrong, and there is no coming around that, stealing is wrong and there is no coming around that either. Just today I finished my 3 day work at an exhibition and was helping to clean up when I noticed a really cute webcam left unguarded in the boxes. I had this sudden urge to just grab it, put it in my bag which I was carrying and pretend nothing happened. No one would ever know anyway, not untill the next day when they do a stock count and find it missing.
But I couldn't. I rejected the offer, blockaded the urge and instead of making it disappear into my bag, I asked for it. Obviously I wasn't allowed to, considering the webcam is expensive and my boss's explanation was cuz the company would double check on expensive items being given away. If I wanted the fan or one or some of the plush dolls or photoframes which were in an abudance, I could have them. But the webcam was off limits.
Many times I found myself in a situation where stealing it would go unnoticed. But still I persevered and denied the feeling. In the end, I didn't get it. I grabbed what rubbish I could salvage (they were throwing lots of spoilt and unwanted photo frames and posters, I salvaged the 'spoilt ones' and repaired them and was allowed to keep them), my stuff and headed off.
All in all, I hate people who lie. As in lying to protect something they've done wrong. If a person lied to give a birthday surprise or just for fun which you obviously know they're lying and they know it too, that'd be understood, especially among the more modern aged teenagers/college students. But lying to protect something done wrong and going on and on to protect that without even wanting to say "I'm sorry about what I did but I want to make my point clear", that I can't take. If someone said that to me, yes I would still be angry, but definitely much less than a person trying to hold on to lies and protect that till the never end.
Recently I realised being someone special in a friend's life isn't easy. At least it isn't easy to get there. I've tried. I'm only there with my best friend, and even then, I sometimes have certain doubts.
It's hard for a friend to love friends I guess. I'm the few who wants them to not feel alone and hurt so much that I start to feel the hurt myself. It takes a toll on me - I get really tired. I lose patience at times, and it's been getting faster and faster. But still, I strive to give my best to them. Why? I don't know either.
Maybe it's because I've been through many hardships alone, and I know what it feels like, and I don't want those whom I care for to ever go through things the way I did. Maybe it's because I care for my friends to a certain extenct that I could possibly and probably care for them more than I care for myself.
Maybe it's just both.
Oh, and the feeling of guilt if I took the webcam, that's a good sign. At least I know that I'll still feel guilty if I do something wrong.
God, I pray for my friends today. I pray that You will always be with them to show them the Way, the Truth and the Light. And I pray that they will follow Your Way, Your Truth and Your Life. For you know what's best for them, and I want what's best for them too. Even if it kills me.
posted by Liil Masks at 10:31 am
6 Comments:
i have a Qs; tho pardon me if i don't know how to phrase it less bluntly than it is now.
what if the other person doesn't want you to sacrifice for them, regardless of the predicament afflicting them?
opps forgot to note down. suv asking the Qs.
Me/Kil : Well... By normal human nature standards, most people will accept any help almost willingly without much thought, providing there are no strings attached... If I offered to give you help unconditionally like I already have, would you not more then not willingly accept it? Especially when you needed help the most?
I think that would depend on the situation, and the person involved. Not everyone works the same way we would like to think, or how you expect it.
Not everyone wants help all the time. ^^;
-SY-
i agree w -sy-.
on a more personal note; i do not want another to help me, to the extent of sacrificing themselves. in fact, i would be upset if that person conceals from me, the toll he/she takes upon him/herself.
that person's self-destruction is a burden a human being's conscience shouldn't be allowed to bear.
i'd rather self-destruct.
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