Hurt

It's been an extremely long while since I last posted anything on this blog.

I still find no way to google out my blog, but apparently someone managed to. I'm starting to doubt that this person got my blog through googling. Either ways I'll be switching address soon. Not many people read my blog anymore anyway, since I didn't post anything for so long.



Anyway... I've got another messy infatuation problem coming up... To cut the long story short, I like this girl but another girl shows signs of liking me, and I don't know how to reject. I don't like rejecting, it hurts to see them. Blargh.


I went to a cosplay event at Sungei Wang today for fun. I was dressed as the Phantom of the Opera :D :D With a rapier that I made too! Too bad I didn't manage to get a skullhead on time to stick it to my rapier or it would really look like the movie's phantom's rapier >< I also forgot to ask my maid where she hid all the pieces of cloth I had in my room (I needed them for my cape) so I was a phantom w/o a cape...

Wonderfully enough, most people who knew me, recognized me -__- (well at least a slight number over 50% did...) Some didn't recognise me which was fine. Some even asked me who I was cosplaying. I felt like either strangling the idiot or jumping off the building.

For the little performance, I sang Music of the Night. I had to shorten it since they were obviously bored of it. Aih Malaysians don't understand Opera. And nobody really appreciates my singing anyway. Not like I can sing either. I'm quite certain all those who asked me if I recorded it and played it, or really sang it out and said I really can sing probably don't mean it. They probably would mean they admire my guts to sing such a song in such places.

My mask was melting. Had to keep it away. It's rather soft now T_T How is it gonna last till the end of the year and through comic fiesta 2006? Even the rubber band that's supposed to hold it to my head broke a number of times. It's rather tight now making it stick to my head. I'm afraid it'll continue breaking and I'll need to find a new rubber band, which I don't know where to find... T_T


Anyway, I've got 2 assignments I have to pass up soon - A Narrative Script and a Horror Genre Research Paper. I seriously have no idea what to write for both, nor do I think I can finish it on time.


Did I mentioned I'm a bit depressed as well as physically very tired? Yeah I am. I'm simply not good at anything. I can be above average and know a lot, but I can never master something. I hate it. I hate being a Jack of all Trades. Though I can do better than most at most things, I can never reach the professional level. I'm sad. I suck so badly.



BTW, I sprained my foot this morning. I hopped up the stairs and my foot slided down sideways first. It still hurts. It hurts when I press down the clutch of my car. It hurts. It's annoying... Why am I so stupid and clumsy...



God,

Goodnight. Take care of my loved ones, friends, family and acquaintances.

And teach me to love my enemy. I'm starting to feel like I'm turning more and more into my enemy day by day. If I ever become exactly like my enemy, I might as well go admit myelf into a psychotic institution. I would have no righteousness left in me to hold myself up to look at anyone anymore.

Love ya peeps.