Screaming Melodies of the Silent Wind
I had dared to hope.
I had dared to pursue the vision I got.
Whether from my imagination, or from God, I don't know. It's probably what I imagined really.
I had known the percentage of the answer I wanted.
I knew it wasn't high.
I had perceived what would happen.
But I still dared.
Dared to hope.
And I was rejected.
To cut my annoying story short, JYJY refused to be the talent for my idea of the music video. Either she doesn't believe that she can do it, she doesn't like me and has someone else in mind, or she just couldn't be bothered.
I'd think the latter 2. Courtesy of picking the answers by BBT.
I already told her that if she rejects, I wouldn't do it at all. She was my vision of the perfect talent for the shoot. I envisioned her every lip sync, her every action, her every expression, her every move. It was her I wanted. It was her I needed. It was her, and no one else.
Yet she still told me to "ask another girl to help."
A vision.
Shattered.
Like glass in a noise-proof room.
Grief of a mute.
Echoes of space.
Screaming Melodies of the Silent Wind.
With a cold glistening touch
That chills to the bone
An emotional loss of all joy
A pain that bears scars of a deeper sadness
A cry that is unheard
A howl that is ignored
A shout into the endless sea
A bellow that bears no sound
A Screaming Melody of the Silent Wind
A Screaming Melody of the Silent Wind
A Screaming Melody of the Silent Wind
I'm starting to develop a statement of 'hate' for girls. All girls whom I find cute and lovely.
They tempt me to get closer than a relationship. They tempt me to build something more than just mere friendship.
And it's a temptation I just can't resist.
I long for the attention.
I CRAVE for the attention they give.
I love their utmost personal focus on me when we're deep in conversation. Whatever the topic may be.
Yet
I cannot have them.
I know I cannot.
I believe that what I know is right. I believe I cannot.
And even if I wanted
They walk away from me
From my life
From my dreams
From my visions
Leaving me to pick up the broken pieces from the hard jagged ground
Tearing my flesh apart
Whittling away at my grief
Sneding torrents of pounding sadness
And disappointed expectency.
Such was not meant for any man to bear.
Such was not meant for any man to think.
Such was not meant for any man to know.
Not meant for any man
But me.
And so I bear this weight of burden
A burden of emotional hunger and thirst
A burden of inward scars that time can never heal
A burden of discarded hopes
A burden of images destroyed
A burden of lost imagination
A burden
Only mine to bear.
And the more I bear on my own weight
The more I am unwilling to let it go
For I do not wish to burden anyone else with this sack
No one else but myself
If I were to love someone, I would not want them to take this sack from me
It may be selfless of them, but I feel selfish of myself
For if I can bear them, why must I burden someone else?
Let my body be destroyed
My emotions torn
My heart scarred
But I will not give my burden to anyone else
Especially not to those whom I'm supposed to love.
God...
I can't.
Bless my blog readers.
And bless AC, who may someday be given my blog address.
I had dared to pursue the vision I got.
Whether from my imagination, or from God, I don't know. It's probably what I imagined really.
I had known the percentage of the answer I wanted.
I knew it wasn't high.
I had perceived what would happen.
But I still dared.
Dared to hope.
And I was rejected.
To cut my annoying story short, JYJY refused to be the talent for my idea of the music video. Either she doesn't believe that she can do it, she doesn't like me and has someone else in mind, or she just couldn't be bothered.
I'd think the latter 2. Courtesy of picking the answers by BBT.
I already told her that if she rejects, I wouldn't do it at all. She was my vision of the perfect talent for the shoot. I envisioned her every lip sync, her every action, her every expression, her every move. It was her I wanted. It was her I needed. It was her, and no one else.
Yet she still told me to "ask another girl to help."
A vision.
Shattered.
Like glass in a noise-proof room.
Grief of a mute.
Echoes of space.
Screaming Melodies of the Silent Wind.
With a cold glistening touch
That chills to the bone
An emotional loss of all joy
A pain that bears scars of a deeper sadness
A cry that is unheard
A howl that is ignored
A shout into the endless sea
A bellow that bears no sound
A Screaming Melody of the Silent Wind
A Screaming Melody of the Silent Wind
A Screaming Melody of the Silent Wind
I'm starting to develop a statement of 'hate' for girls. All girls whom I find cute and lovely.
They tempt me to get closer than a relationship. They tempt me to build something more than just mere friendship.
And it's a temptation I just can't resist.
I long for the attention.
I CRAVE for the attention they give.
I love their utmost personal focus on me when we're deep in conversation. Whatever the topic may be.
Yet
I cannot have them.
I know I cannot.
I believe that what I know is right. I believe I cannot.
And even if I wanted
They walk away from me
From my life
From my dreams
From my visions
Leaving me to pick up the broken pieces from the hard jagged ground
Tearing my flesh apart
Whittling away at my grief
Sneding torrents of pounding sadness
And disappointed expectency.
Such was not meant for any man to bear.
Such was not meant for any man to think.
Such was not meant for any man to know.
Not meant for any man
But me.
And so I bear this weight of burden
A burden of emotional hunger and thirst
A burden of inward scars that time can never heal
A burden of discarded hopes
A burden of images destroyed
A burden of lost imagination
A burden
Only mine to bear.
And the more I bear on my own weight
The more I am unwilling to let it go
For I do not wish to burden anyone else with this sack
No one else but myself
If I were to love someone, I would not want them to take this sack from me
It may be selfless of them, but I feel selfish of myself
For if I can bear them, why must I burden someone else?
Let my body be destroyed
My emotions torn
My heart scarred
But I will not give my burden to anyone else
Especially not to those whom I'm supposed to love.
God...
I can't.
Bless my blog readers.
And bless AC, who may someday be given my blog address.
posted by Liil Masks at 11:36 am
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