Serenity in Desperation

Why Serene Desperation?

My mom asked me that question.

Is desperation serene?



Let's check the dictionary shall we.

Translations courtesy of dictionary.com

se‧rene  /səˈrin/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[suh-reen] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective

1.	calm, peaceful, or tranquil; unruffled: a serene landscape; serene old age.

2.	clear; fair: serene weather.

3.	(usually initial capital letter) most high or august (used as a royal epithet, usually prec. by his, your, etc.): His Serene Highness.

–noun

4.	serenity; tranquillity.

5.	Archaic. a clear or tranquil expanse of sea or sky.

des‧per‧a‧tion  /ˌdɛspəˈreɪʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[des-puh-rey-shuhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun

1.	the state of being desperate or of having the recklessness of despair.

2.	the act or fact of despairing; despair.

de‧spair  /dɪˈspɛər/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[di-spair] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun

1.	loss of hope; hopelessness.

2.	someone or something that causes hopelessness: He is the despair of his mother.

–verb (used without object)

3.	to lose, give up, or be without hope (often fol. by of): to despair of humanity.

–verb (used with object)

4.	Obsolete. to give up hope of.

Most people take desperation in the form of chaos, chaotic, madness, craze, etc.


Just because the world sees desperation in the form of chaos

doesn't mean I have to.



Serene Desperation - Put it together, and you'll get this:

- A state of hopelessness, giving up on hope yet in complete silence, calm and peaceful, accepting the hopelessness of the situation in a calm and serene manner, silent acceptance of the state of mind in which circumstances seem too much to cope with.



—Related forms

de‧spair‧er, noun

—Synonyms 1. gloom, disheartenment. Despair, desperation, despondency, discouragement, hopelessness refer to a state of mind caused by circumstances that seem too much to cope with. Despair suggests total loss of hope, which may be passive or may drive one to furious efforts, even if at random: in the depths of despair; courage born of despair. Desperation is usually an active state, the abandonment of hope impelling to a furious struggle against adverse circumstances, with utter disregard of consequences: an act of desperation when everything else had failed. Despondency is a state of deep gloom and disheartenment: a spell of despondency. Discouragement is a loss of courage, hope, and ambition because of obstacles, frustrations, etc.: His optimism yielded to discouragement. Hopelessness is a loss of hope so complete as to result in a more or less permanent state of passive despair: a state of hopelessness and apathy.

While my outer self gets brighter and brighter with more crosses that I buy and wear...

My inner self grows darker and darker, falling further and further away from the world...



Perhaps the reason why I never choose to lead people into worship...

Is because I may affect the outcome of the situation.



I may be loyal to God, to my God, the God of Christianity, to Christ Jesus, to the Holy Spirit

but I never said I was obedient...

In fact, loyalty to my faith seems to be the only thing that is still tying me with the faith in which I believe in...

And perhaps once in a while, my passion to perform.



And of course... My loyalty to my friends.

Perhaps some love in it too.

If I can still differentiate what love is...

If I still know how to love...





God...

What is happening to me...?



Bless my blog-readers.