-
- says:
hie g
g says:
hey..not sleeping?
- says:
nah
- says:
working on something i'm hoping to finish
- says:
by daybreak
g says:
cool
g says:
you can do it
- says:
lol
- says:
thanks...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That was an msn chat not too long ago.
That's what I call a supportive friend.
Not many of my friends do that.
Maybe they support me without saying so. Maybe they don't.
If they do... I just wish they would say they do.
It gives me strength.
It gives me the initiative.
It gives me hope that I'll be able to finish it.
Recently I helped MPL with a performance she was to perform for a cosplay competition. I stayed up late to help her with the short video she wanted me to edit. I edited everything, worked and blablabla. I DID play a game while waiting for the rendering to be complete though... But I did get the stuff done.
Well, she lost anyway. I was in her skit too, last minute and all. She lost.
And after that, she didn't even find me to say anything.
She probably forgot all about me, wondering 'why didn't i win?'.
Well, she IS that kind of a person, as from what I've gathered. So I expected as much.
I just... Well, I just dared to hope.
Not like it helped much.
And I found out (more like clarified) that this new cute girl I kinda like (who's rather tall) has a boyfriend. Who happens to be my ex-schoolmate.
So much for freedom of choice.
Freedom of choice? More like 'so much for grabbing the cutie'.
So in commemoration with being utterly forgotten by the girl whom I actually liked (note past tense), I've posted this blog (after such a bedazzling horrendous long time) with the title as "-".
So has my MSN name been changed to such as well.
I was just reading a few articles on the net about "Low Self-Esteem".
It seems I fall under that particular category.
catogery. category.
whatever.
It says there are 3 types of people with 'low self-esteem'.
Type 1:
The Imposter
acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure. Lives with the constant fear that she or he will be "found out." Needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition, and burn-out..
Type 2:
The Rebel
acts like the opinions or good will of others - especially people who are important or powerful - don't matter. Lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." Continuously needs to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority.
Type 3:
The Loser
acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. Looks constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships.
Wow, it seems like I'm a 3-in-1. I've got all of those symptoms. Especially the first and third.
The third just conflicts with my understanding of the position of a man in a relationship. It turns me into a living contradiction. A paradox, if you will.
Hey, I'm a paradox. Sounds like panadol.
Lately my mom's been bugging me (I think twice in 2-3 weeks so far. That's how well I remember it) about not being able to find my blog. She says it disappeared. I found it well and just fine a while ago. Wondering what's her problem.
Either ways... I'm about 99% positive that absolutely nobody visits this blog anymore, much less read this post. God bless you if you do.
Indeed, God bless you if you do.
God,
I feel lonely.
For You have said, "It is not good that Man should be lonely. I will make him a companion..."
I hope for that companion.
I long for that companion.
I don't know if I'll be able to handle a companion.
I might rely too much for support on my companion.
God...
I need a miracle...
-invisible from the sight of men-
hie g
g says:
hey..not sleeping?
- says:
nah
- says:
working on something i'm hoping to finish
- says:
by daybreak
g says:
cool
g says:
you can do it
- says:
lol
- says:
thanks...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That was an msn chat not too long ago.
That's what I call a supportive friend.
Not many of my friends do that.
Maybe they support me without saying so. Maybe they don't.
If they do... I just wish they would say they do.
It gives me strength.
It gives me the initiative.
It gives me hope that I'll be able to finish it.
Recently I helped MPL with a performance she was to perform for a cosplay competition. I stayed up late to help her with the short video she wanted me to edit. I edited everything, worked and blablabla. I DID play a game while waiting for the rendering to be complete though... But I did get the stuff done.
Well, she lost anyway. I was in her skit too, last minute and all. She lost.
And after that, she didn't even find me to say anything.
She probably forgot all about me, wondering 'why didn't i win?'.
Well, she IS that kind of a person, as from what I've gathered. So I expected as much.
I just... Well, I just dared to hope.
Not like it helped much.
And I found out (more like clarified) that this new cute girl I kinda like (who's rather tall) has a boyfriend. Who happens to be my ex-schoolmate.
So much for freedom of choice.
Freedom of choice? More like 'so much for grabbing the cutie'.
So in commemoration with being utterly forgotten by the girl whom I actually liked (note past tense), I've posted this blog (after such a bedazzling horrendous long time) with the title as "-".
So has my MSN name been changed to such as well.
I was just reading a few articles on the net about "Low Self-Esteem".
It seems I fall under that particular category.
catogery. category.
whatever.
It says there are 3 types of people with 'low self-esteem'.
Type 1:
The Imposter
acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure. Lives with the constant fear that she or he will be "found out." Needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition, and burn-out..
Type 2:
The Rebel
acts like the opinions or good will of others - especially people who are important or powerful - don't matter. Lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." Continuously needs to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority.
Type 3:
The Loser
acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. Looks constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships.
Wow, it seems like I'm a 3-in-1. I've got all of those symptoms. Especially the first and third.
The third just conflicts with my understanding of the position of a man in a relationship. It turns me into a living contradiction. A paradox, if you will.
Hey, I'm a paradox. Sounds like panadol.
Lately my mom's been bugging me (I think twice in 2-3 weeks so far. That's how well I remember it) about not being able to find my blog. She says it disappeared. I found it well and just fine a while ago. Wondering what's her problem.
Either ways... I'm about 99% positive that absolutely nobody visits this blog anymore, much less read this post. God bless you if you do.
Indeed, God bless you if you do.
God,
I feel lonely.
For You have said, "It is not good that Man should be lonely. I will make him a companion..."
I hope for that companion.
I long for that companion.
I don't know if I'll be able to handle a companion.
I might rely too much for support on my companion.
God...
I need a miracle...
-invisible from the sight of men-
posted by Liil Masks at 12:17 pm
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