Understand

she does not


I don't even know if she wants to

she certainly doesn't show the effort to want to at all



Working life makes a person bitter

I created the theory for myself

someone just confirmed the theory for me






I don't want to be bitter

I'm already bitter enough with my stepfather at home

everytime he's around, I've got to hold all the thoughts and memories within me and keep the door bolted

just in case it slips out



I don't know... I'm already bitter

and working... will just make me more bitter...



Unless I can get a job acting

stage or TV, it wouldn't matter

I could continue to mask my appearance

until I find the one person who'll take the mask off for me

the one person who'll see through my mask

who'll dare to remove it

to gaze upon the monstrosity

the hideousness of my real complexion

yet fear not

and instead, embrace the broken soul

and mend the torn parts

place her lips

upon the bitter

and sweeten the life that's been left undesired for so long



if only fairytales would come true...





God...


I
feel
lost...


please find me back Lord... please...

please grant me a place in the world where all that's bitter from me will be removed..

and none will continue to enter me...

please...

i cannot be understanding and help my friends
when i'm bitter...