Choked
I had a strange dream just a while ago.
I was working at a Shell Petrol station at first. The station was flourishing and then they had to close one side for upgrading purposes. Our station also overlooked a highway being built next to an old highway. Anyone who was free was supposed to open the bar for the new highway to allow cars to pass, and I think I was supposed to collect some sort of fee, but I couldn't collect them cuz the cars kept passing very fast.
Then I don't know what happened, but I landed up in some kiddie land thingy, with a small eraser-like dude challenging us to make him laugh. We were given the power to transform into anything in any situation to make him laugh. Finally after everyone failed, he revealed to us what made him laugh, a scene in Pirates of the Caribbean III: At World's End. It was hardly hilarious, and when I created a scene that mimicked part of a scene after that, I think nobody laughed (at my lameness as usual, I felt so discouraged as usual).
After that for some reason the scene changed INTO the ending of PotC3: At World's End's ending, where Barbossa sails off wiht the Black Pearl and Jack is stuck with the Black Dinghy. In my dream, I was also there in another dinghy, as another pirate Lord. The Black Pearl sailed on and Jack and I followed it to the "Brethren's Fort" where a powerful witch-man lived whom apparently guided lots of pirates or some sort.
We were supposed to bow when the guard came to open the gate but for some reason I did not. I only did a semi-bow just to show respect, which I apparently had little of. We walked in and this other pirate kept whispering to me to not look at the freaks as we walk past, and I kept telling him that I knew.
We reached the room where the witch-man would see us. He sat in a bed with 2 other old women; the bed covered by a mosquito net. As everyone was quiet, a woman there asked me something, and as I was replying to her question, suddenly her eyes grew wide as she said, "You're dead!"
Immediately I was understood that the witch-man had apparently dealt the death card on me and I was supposed to die. My lungs squeezed itself and breathing became difficult. I was struggling to remain conscious, but I gathered my strength and stood up to full height, still struggling hard to breathe. I could breathe, but my lungs were very tight. I suddenly found myself praying softly for God to intervene. I kept praying and praying, but nothing happened, my lungs just kept tightening. My strength started to wane as I realised I was now fighting against blacking out.
The woman then stood up and screamed for the witch-man to stop. After some screaming and consideration, he stopped the magic thing. As I began to straighten myself again, he started it again and told me to sit down. I didn't have much of a choice.
The woman then half-screamed half-explained that she was asking me something and I was merely answering her. (This particular situation happens EXTREMELY often; someone asks me something and as I try to explain and answer EVEN if it's related and essential for the person to understand the current topic in which the person in front is talking about, I am still the one who gets caught and is blamed. I'm always blamed for helping. And my mother who keeps blaming me as well doesn't help one bit. I never understood why helping people is wrong.)
The witch-man who was already standing up said that anyone who talks in his presence without his consent shoots at the Brethren, at the Nation. As she tries to reason with him, he says "Enough!" and she silences herself. Then do I realise that for some reason the woman was a friend, EA. He opens the mosquito net, sits inside and brings forth a baby. I notice the woman to be carrying some cloth around her, as if she was ready to carry a baby. Yet as she got ready, the witch-man passed the baby to one of the old women in the net, as if to say that she was now unworthy. She tried to protest but was put back in her seat by the witch-man's men.
He then proceeded to tell of what the pirates were supposed to do from then on. Someone was playing a radio very loudly outside and the witch-man was annoyed at it but could not locate where the sounds were coming from. (I doubt radios existed that time.)
Then the scene changed and I was a young teenager again. This time I was walking up a whole flight of stairs in a very strange place. It looked like a whole bunch of rounded buildings, about the size of 8 feet in diameters each, built with stone. I don't remember seeing a door. The whole place reminded me of a cemetery, a very well kept one (no weeds). I was walking the stairs with an old friend, CHI. He used to be my cell-group leader and a youth-church leader until he went to Australia to study, now returned home. He was the only guy person I really ever took a liking and spoke to, but he seemed always busy and never had time to remember about me. It's the same with everyone.
Anyway the steps wasn't straight up. It led round those rounded buildings, up and down, until it finally came to a bigger stone building. Inside, I saw a stage with seats and a sound room at the very back of the place (which was where I entered from). Apparently I was late for practice and had just arrived, so I started going to the stage as everyone prepared to start practice. I noticed it was my church's adult choir.
Then I woke up.
At 11:50am.
Usually if I sleep at 4am, I'd wake up at 2pm. My body's attuned for 10 hours sleep, which after that I automatically wake up. 99% of the people I meet and tell say that I'm just lazy or my body's gotten used to it. Only 1 person has admitted to the possibility of the fact that my body actually needs 10 hours of sleep. I explained I don't usually dream and don't hear anything until it's close to waking time, which she said is 'rem sleep' meaning deep sleep, where energy is recovered the most. I also explained that if I were to wake up any earlier being forced to wake up at say 8 hours, I'd be less active and would still feel sleepy after I'm awake. After 10 hours however, I wouldn't even feel sleepy and would automatically wake up and get ready for the day, which didn't feel like a chore at all. Then she admitted that it's possible that my body needs 10 hours of sleep, unlike most of other people.
This friend's name is EA.
The thing is everyone thinks everyone's the same. If he can do it so can you. If she can do it so can you.
And the TRUTH is, NOBODY is the same. There are different limits inbuilt to everyone. Nobody has the same limits as everyone else. Just because I can do well in this area like someone doesn't mean I can do well in the next area just like that person. The majority of the world doesn't seem to understand that. They don't seem to understand that there are different strengths and weaknesses in everyone, and they think anyone can do anything as long as they try hard. In the long term, that might be possible, but it's not THAT easy. For someone who has a big weakness in a certain area, a LOT of work and perseverence has to be put into to make the work actually work. What about those who have those weaknesses and have low self-esteem and low self faith or self will? That itself makes perseverence even harder to achieve, and literally quadriples the workload altogether. And nobody seems to understand or WANT to understand that.
THAT is the TRUTH.
That's why a person's mind can change the result of his work. That's why psychological warfare is so effective. A person's psychological health directly affects what he does.
Anyway... That was the end of the dreams. I have absolutely no idea why I dreamed that, but when I woke up I was rather scared and afraid. What if I came into such a situation where a real witch-man as doing his witchcraft on me and was taking away my life? God has been awefully silent to me for a very long time now, either by His choice or by my faults for not being able to hear. I don't know which, though it's probably because I haven't been close to Him for so long.
What if He doesn't come to back me up, even if I call for help?
I know I should have faith in Him as He is faithful... But He also has His own mind in things, and we don't know what He thinks. When we pray for a person to get healed, we hope that the person gets healed. Yet in the end, the person dies. God had other plans in mind. How are we to know what He is thinking? For all I know when I'm being attacked God would have other plans in mind and allow me to die to witchcraft. I wouldn't know because I don't know what He thinks.
It's scary.
I'm scared.
God...
I'm scared...
Bless my blogreaders.
I was working at a Shell Petrol station at first. The station was flourishing and then they had to close one side for upgrading purposes. Our station also overlooked a highway being built next to an old highway. Anyone who was free was supposed to open the bar for the new highway to allow cars to pass, and I think I was supposed to collect some sort of fee, but I couldn't collect them cuz the cars kept passing very fast.
Then I don't know what happened, but I landed up in some kiddie land thingy, with a small eraser-like dude challenging us to make him laugh. We were given the power to transform into anything in any situation to make him laugh. Finally after everyone failed, he revealed to us what made him laugh, a scene in Pirates of the Caribbean III: At World's End. It was hardly hilarious, and when I created a scene that mimicked part of a scene after that, I think nobody laughed (at my lameness as usual, I felt so discouraged as usual).
After that for some reason the scene changed INTO the ending of PotC3: At World's End's ending, where Barbossa sails off wiht the Black Pearl and Jack is stuck with the Black Dinghy. In my dream, I was also there in another dinghy, as another pirate Lord. The Black Pearl sailed on and Jack and I followed it to the "Brethren's Fort" where a powerful witch-man lived whom apparently guided lots of pirates or some sort.
We were supposed to bow when the guard came to open the gate but for some reason I did not. I only did a semi-bow just to show respect, which I apparently had little of. We walked in and this other pirate kept whispering to me to not look at the freaks as we walk past, and I kept telling him that I knew.
We reached the room where the witch-man would see us. He sat in a bed with 2 other old women; the bed covered by a mosquito net. As everyone was quiet, a woman there asked me something, and as I was replying to her question, suddenly her eyes grew wide as she said, "You're dead!"
Immediately I was understood that the witch-man had apparently dealt the death card on me and I was supposed to die. My lungs squeezed itself and breathing became difficult. I was struggling to remain conscious, but I gathered my strength and stood up to full height, still struggling hard to breathe. I could breathe, but my lungs were very tight. I suddenly found myself praying softly for God to intervene. I kept praying and praying, but nothing happened, my lungs just kept tightening. My strength started to wane as I realised I was now fighting against blacking out.
The woman then stood up and screamed for the witch-man to stop. After some screaming and consideration, he stopped the magic thing. As I began to straighten myself again, he started it again and told me to sit down. I didn't have much of a choice.
The woman then half-screamed half-explained that she was asking me something and I was merely answering her. (This particular situation happens EXTREMELY often; someone asks me something and as I try to explain and answer EVEN if it's related and essential for the person to understand the current topic in which the person in front is talking about, I am still the one who gets caught and is blamed. I'm always blamed for helping. And my mother who keeps blaming me as well doesn't help one bit. I never understood why helping people is wrong.)
The witch-man who was already standing up said that anyone who talks in his presence without his consent shoots at the Brethren, at the Nation. As she tries to reason with him, he says "Enough!" and she silences herself. Then do I realise that for some reason the woman was a friend, EA. He opens the mosquito net, sits inside and brings forth a baby. I notice the woman to be carrying some cloth around her, as if she was ready to carry a baby. Yet as she got ready, the witch-man passed the baby to one of the old women in the net, as if to say that she was now unworthy. She tried to protest but was put back in her seat by the witch-man's men.
He then proceeded to tell of what the pirates were supposed to do from then on. Someone was playing a radio very loudly outside and the witch-man was annoyed at it but could not locate where the sounds were coming from. (I doubt radios existed that time.)
Then the scene changed and I was a young teenager again. This time I was walking up a whole flight of stairs in a very strange place. It looked like a whole bunch of rounded buildings, about the size of 8 feet in diameters each, built with stone. I don't remember seeing a door. The whole place reminded me of a cemetery, a very well kept one (no weeds). I was walking the stairs with an old friend, CHI. He used to be my cell-group leader and a youth-church leader until he went to Australia to study, now returned home. He was the only guy person I really ever took a liking and spoke to, but he seemed always busy and never had time to remember about me. It's the same with everyone.
Anyway the steps wasn't straight up. It led round those rounded buildings, up and down, until it finally came to a bigger stone building. Inside, I saw a stage with seats and a sound room at the very back of the place (which was where I entered from). Apparently I was late for practice and had just arrived, so I started going to the stage as everyone prepared to start practice. I noticed it was my church's adult choir.
Then I woke up.
At 11:50am.
Usually if I sleep at 4am, I'd wake up at 2pm. My body's attuned for 10 hours sleep, which after that I automatically wake up. 99% of the people I meet and tell say that I'm just lazy or my body's gotten used to it. Only 1 person has admitted to the possibility of the fact that my body actually needs 10 hours of sleep. I explained I don't usually dream and don't hear anything until it's close to waking time, which she said is 'rem sleep' meaning deep sleep, where energy is recovered the most. I also explained that if I were to wake up any earlier being forced to wake up at say 8 hours, I'd be less active and would still feel sleepy after I'm awake. After 10 hours however, I wouldn't even feel sleepy and would automatically wake up and get ready for the day, which didn't feel like a chore at all. Then she admitted that it's possible that my body needs 10 hours of sleep, unlike most of other people.
This friend's name is EA.
The thing is everyone thinks everyone's the same. If he can do it so can you. If she can do it so can you.
And the TRUTH is, NOBODY is the same. There are different limits inbuilt to everyone. Nobody has the same limits as everyone else. Just because I can do well in this area like someone doesn't mean I can do well in the next area just like that person. The majority of the world doesn't seem to understand that. They don't seem to understand that there are different strengths and weaknesses in everyone, and they think anyone can do anything as long as they try hard. In the long term, that might be possible, but it's not THAT easy. For someone who has a big weakness in a certain area, a LOT of work and perseverence has to be put into to make the work actually work. What about those who have those weaknesses and have low self-esteem and low self faith or self will? That itself makes perseverence even harder to achieve, and literally quadriples the workload altogether. And nobody seems to understand or WANT to understand that.
THAT is the TRUTH.
That's why a person's mind can change the result of his work. That's why psychological warfare is so effective. A person's psychological health directly affects what he does.
Anyway... That was the end of the dreams. I have absolutely no idea why I dreamed that, but when I woke up I was rather scared and afraid. What if I came into such a situation where a real witch-man as doing his witchcraft on me and was taking away my life? God has been awefully silent to me for a very long time now, either by His choice or by my faults for not being able to hear. I don't know which, though it's probably because I haven't been close to Him for so long.
What if He doesn't come to back me up, even if I call for help?
I know I should have faith in Him as He is faithful... But He also has His own mind in things, and we don't know what He thinks. When we pray for a person to get healed, we hope that the person gets healed. Yet in the end, the person dies. God had other plans in mind. How are we to know what He is thinking? For all I know when I'm being attacked God would have other plans in mind and allow me to die to witchcraft. I wouldn't know because I don't know what He thinks.
It's scary.
I'm scared.
God...
I'm scared...
Bless my blogreaders.
posted by Liil Masks at 9:13 pm
1 Comments:
You are reminded to go back to your 1st love i.e. to love your God!
Post a Comment
<< Home