An Enemy of My Beliefs
I am, at this moment, very undecided about myself.
About how I feel, how I am.
My purpose in life, if I am fulfilling anything at all.
Someone I know over the internet has believed in himself that Satan is the creator of the world. That his soul is trapped in an evil world. That God is all-loving and all-caring, but is not the creator, and since Satan rules this world, is not all-powerful. All that from the day Adam's sin became ours to bear. Because an all-loving and all-caring God would not allow evil in this world.
In so meaning that the Christian God that we learn from the Bible is not real.
For years I've been talking with him, trying to pit my knowledge in my beliefs against his.
And for all these years, he has remained steadfast to his own understandings, refusing to accept anything else.
While he says that he is open to anything that may contradict him (though he believes that nothing will with concrete proof), he has neve really accepted anything I've ever tried explaining to him about. He has a rebuttal for every single sentence I utter, even if my argument requires an entire paragraph to send the message through. And when I say that, he merely smirks and dismisses it without another thought. Of course I could point it out to him, but he'd brush it off with some other remark that would be suffice to summarise to "my understanding proves that your statement is false".
To me... His world revolves around his relationship with his girlfriend. While he harbours a lot of hatred (though he will never admit it) for Christianity (I take he's been mostly in contact with Catholics, because his arguments about Christians' faith seem to be centered around that of a typical catholic church; not to say that they're all the same and they're bad or anything), he seems to fire up only when his relationship with his girlfriend faces trouble.
She's a Christian, but agrees to a lot of his views. To me that's only because she wants to keep him happy and maintain a good relationship between them. But of course he'd only smirk it off by saying that's exactly what the world of evil would say just to break them apart.
I've been talking with him for possibly 3-4 years now, trying to perhaps put some sense (what I accept and believe as sense) into him. The only thing that I've managed to get across (and only recently) is that I've been trying to be a friend to him. Otherwise, nothing has gone through.
A number of people say that I have good Bible knowledge. I don't know where they get that from, but if I'm any good at all, I feel I'm not good enough. I've told him things from the Bible that would challenge many people to rethink their beliefs and understanding of life and their religion, but I've not been able to shake him off his proud rock. I would say he's so full of himself that without knowing it he has made himself his own god over his dominion. That he dictates who and what god is. That he has created god, not god creating him (or in this case the devil I guess).
But the problem with such an argument if I were to bring it up (which I have) is that the same could be said for all religions (and faiths). While we claim that God inspired man to write the Bible, in the end it was still man who wrote the Bible. Whether it was God inspired or not is up to us to believe.
In other words, if I were looking at things from his point of view, I could rebut on almost anything Christianity or any religion has to throw at me and turn it down based on his beliefs.
The only thing however that keeps me from accepting his beliefs as possible and real, is that I've EXPERIENCED God before. I've experienced Him, I've experienced His love, and I've experienced His miraculous power. I've also SEEN His power at work, I've seen miracles that proclaim that He does indeed exist. I've seen Him at work, and I've felt Him. So I KNOW He's real.
But that is something that cannot be explained. It can only be felt and experienced. And a person can only be convicted by the Holy Spirit. While we are vessels who disciple and baptise people, the Holy Spirit is the one who convicts them to convert and to believe.
I ended our conversation by saying that I hope he hasn't and will not commit the unpardonable sin.
I had to look it up to be sure of it before I dared to say it. A part of me wanted to push him to a point where he commited it. But that would in a way make me guilty of pushing him to do it, which would be entirely stupid of me, since that won't help any.
The unpardonable sin is to blaspheme against the Holy Spirit. While Jesus was casting out demons, some pharisees came and said that he was the devil casting out his own demons from people. When Jesus challenged them asking them why would Satan cast out his own demons for "a house divided will not stand", they claimed that his power was the power of the Devil himself. That was when Jesus drew the line, saying that any sin commited by man can be pardoned and fogiven, but should a person blaspheme against the Holy Spirit that man would be condemned forever and will never be pardoned (don't quote me on that, it's just my interpretation, since I can't remember the exact words).
Because Jesus explained before that His power was the power of the Holy Spirit, if someone were to refute that claim and say it is of another power, it became blasphemy and thus the unpardonable sin.
Anyway, he said he wouldn't look it up.
I wanted to say "Ignorance is not bliss but only a fool's attempt at playing innocent", but I decided to just turn off my msn at that point.
I really don't know what to do or say. I've exhausted everything I have on him. Everything I know, everything I understand, I've tried to use on him. Yet he refuses to open his mind.
Perhaps I should start praying for him.
That means I'd have to start praying for a long list of people.
That means I have to lengthen my quiet time.
I guess I should.
It's time for a change.
I wanted to initiate the change last week, but I was too weak to guard myself and let things go awry. I lost the conviction then, and decided not to.
This week was worst.
God
Smehow... All this doesn't feel right...
While I'm glad I can answer questions that people ask me pertaining Christianity
Somehow... It just doesn't feel right when I answer them.
It feels as if.. You're not there to support me and back me up.
If this is true... Please show me what I must do to have You right behind me watching my back when such situations arise.
I feel that I've reached the limit to what I can do without making that change.
Please give me the conviction and the strength to live my life holy for You while I await the next round.
I want to be holy for You.
Please dear Lord
Save me from myself
That I may be Your vessel to save others from themselves.
Amen.
God bless my blogreaders
every single one of them.
About how I feel, how I am.
My purpose in life, if I am fulfilling anything at all.
Someone I know over the internet has believed in himself that Satan is the creator of the world. That his soul is trapped in an evil world. That God is all-loving and all-caring, but is not the creator, and since Satan rules this world, is not all-powerful. All that from the day Adam's sin became ours to bear. Because an all-loving and all-caring God would not allow evil in this world.
In so meaning that the Christian God that we learn from the Bible is not real.
For years I've been talking with him, trying to pit my knowledge in my beliefs against his.
And for all these years, he has remained steadfast to his own understandings, refusing to accept anything else.
While he says that he is open to anything that may contradict him (though he believes that nothing will with concrete proof), he has neve really accepted anything I've ever tried explaining to him about. He has a rebuttal for every single sentence I utter, even if my argument requires an entire paragraph to send the message through. And when I say that, he merely smirks and dismisses it without another thought. Of course I could point it out to him, but he'd brush it off with some other remark that would be suffice to summarise to "my understanding proves that your statement is false".
To me... His world revolves around his relationship with his girlfriend. While he harbours a lot of hatred (though he will never admit it) for Christianity (I take he's been mostly in contact with Catholics, because his arguments about Christians' faith seem to be centered around that of a typical catholic church; not to say that they're all the same and they're bad or anything), he seems to fire up only when his relationship with his girlfriend faces trouble.
She's a Christian, but agrees to a lot of his views. To me that's only because she wants to keep him happy and maintain a good relationship between them. But of course he'd only smirk it off by saying that's exactly what the world of evil would say just to break them apart.
I've been talking with him for possibly 3-4 years now, trying to perhaps put some sense (what I accept and believe as sense) into him. The only thing that I've managed to get across (and only recently) is that I've been trying to be a friend to him. Otherwise, nothing has gone through.
A number of people say that I have good Bible knowledge. I don't know where they get that from, but if I'm any good at all, I feel I'm not good enough. I've told him things from the Bible that would challenge many people to rethink their beliefs and understanding of life and their religion, but I've not been able to shake him off his proud rock. I would say he's so full of himself that without knowing it he has made himself his own god over his dominion. That he dictates who and what god is. That he has created god, not god creating him (or in this case the devil I guess).
But the problem with such an argument if I were to bring it up (which I have) is that the same could be said for all religions (and faiths). While we claim that God inspired man to write the Bible, in the end it was still man who wrote the Bible. Whether it was God inspired or not is up to us to believe.
In other words, if I were looking at things from his point of view, I could rebut on almost anything Christianity or any religion has to throw at me and turn it down based on his beliefs.
The only thing however that keeps me from accepting his beliefs as possible and real, is that I've EXPERIENCED God before. I've experienced Him, I've experienced His love, and I've experienced His miraculous power. I've also SEEN His power at work, I've seen miracles that proclaim that He does indeed exist. I've seen Him at work, and I've felt Him. So I KNOW He's real.
But that is something that cannot be explained. It can only be felt and experienced. And a person can only be convicted by the Holy Spirit. While we are vessels who disciple and baptise people, the Holy Spirit is the one who convicts them to convert and to believe.
I ended our conversation by saying that I hope he hasn't and will not commit the unpardonable sin.
I had to look it up to be sure of it before I dared to say it. A part of me wanted to push him to a point where he commited it. But that would in a way make me guilty of pushing him to do it, which would be entirely stupid of me, since that won't help any.
The unpardonable sin is to blaspheme against the Holy Spirit. While Jesus was casting out demons, some pharisees came and said that he was the devil casting out his own demons from people. When Jesus challenged them asking them why would Satan cast out his own demons for "a house divided will not stand", they claimed that his power was the power of the Devil himself. That was when Jesus drew the line, saying that any sin commited by man can be pardoned and fogiven, but should a person blaspheme against the Holy Spirit that man would be condemned forever and will never be pardoned (don't quote me on that, it's just my interpretation, since I can't remember the exact words).
Because Jesus explained before that His power was the power of the Holy Spirit, if someone were to refute that claim and say it is of another power, it became blasphemy and thus the unpardonable sin.
Anyway, he said he wouldn't look it up.
I wanted to say "Ignorance is not bliss but only a fool's attempt at playing innocent", but I decided to just turn off my msn at that point.
I really don't know what to do or say. I've exhausted everything I have on him. Everything I know, everything I understand, I've tried to use on him. Yet he refuses to open his mind.
Perhaps I should start praying for him.
That means I'd have to start praying for a long list of people.
That means I have to lengthen my quiet time.
I guess I should.
It's time for a change.
I wanted to initiate the change last week, but I was too weak to guard myself and let things go awry. I lost the conviction then, and decided not to.
This week was worst.
God
Smehow... All this doesn't feel right...
While I'm glad I can answer questions that people ask me pertaining Christianity
Somehow... It just doesn't feel right when I answer them.
It feels as if.. You're not there to support me and back me up.
If this is true... Please show me what I must do to have You right behind me watching my back when such situations arise.
I feel that I've reached the limit to what I can do without making that change.
Please give me the conviction and the strength to live my life holy for You while I await the next round.
I want to be holy for You.
Please dear Lord
Save me from myself
That I may be Your vessel to save others from themselves.
Amen.
God bless my blogreaders
every single one of them.
posted by Liil Masks at 10:59 am
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