Don't Go Wasting Your Emotion, Lay All Your Love On Me

Memories still twitter fresh in the backyard of my mind.

Memories of fun times.

Sadly, mostly tied to the more physical parts. Memories of sweet moments? Also tied to physicality.


Perhaps I just haven't met the right person for me. Only one person has ever attracted the intellectual part of me. Who also at the same time, attracted the physical part of me. Attracted the whole of me in that sense. Yes, spiritually as well.

But she wasn't attracted to me. Rather, she was put off, offended instead.

Ah well.

Situation I'm in right now is a little complicated

though the answer is simple enough.

Still, the best way is to totally not be involved. To leave it as it is would be the best course of action.

But... That would be mean. And being mean that way is something I really can't do...

Unless I really get pushed to the brink of my tolerance, then I will have to be mean. Regardless.

Perhaps... Perhaps being in a coma would be the best course of action.

It's not suicide, and it's not living. I'd be there, but I wouldn't be there.

And then... And then, perhaps this blockade in life would finally disappear...




God

I... I'm filled with thoughts.

Thoughts of actions I should take, thoughts of possible outcomes, thoughts of the consequences I would have to face for each possible outcome.

And all those possible outcomes...

Are not nice ones.

There is only one possible outcome that goes unpredicted, uncalculated.

That's Your outcome, God.

And I believe that it's the better outcome among anything I can think of.

Please guide my actions, and let them lead to that outcome. The one You have prepared and chosen.